He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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