Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
