she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Randomize
