So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
