I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
