Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize