Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize