Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
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