yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
