and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
My vagina is very pro this idea
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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