Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Just invented taco cereal.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Randomize