hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
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