Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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