How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Randomize
