I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
