ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Please don't give away my fajitas
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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