Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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