That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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