12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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