and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
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