i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
