ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
