season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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