3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
look no pants
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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