I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
FUCK WHALES
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
