...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
