I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
