i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize