WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
