Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
