Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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