Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize