It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
