you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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