I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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