she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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