The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
