Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
