We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
