soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
