Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
