I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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