I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
