Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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