so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
