She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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