I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
