You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
