It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
