hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
