It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
