feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Randomize
