I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
