I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
