so that wasnt chicken after all
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
i black out too much to be "responsible"
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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