Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Found the puke drawer
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
