and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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