fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
