**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
