She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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