there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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