what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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